In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
