Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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