I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
