He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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