two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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