hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
