I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My bed is full of blood and feathers
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
