OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
