i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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