you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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