And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize