I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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