i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
