I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
