why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
