I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize