I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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