Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
