BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
