We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
