He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
