I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize