Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
