If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
