White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
