Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
