Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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