Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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