my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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