Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
