garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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