Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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