he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
