Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
