so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
