Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
