just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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