dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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