ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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