Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
