I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
