3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
