i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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