I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
