Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
