my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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