Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
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You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
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Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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