Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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