aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
