i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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