Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
