I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
