Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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